Avoid Mom Burnout This Holiday Season

Written By May Flam

A 15-minute practice to feel like a human (not a holiday zombie)

In my years as a mom, I’ve often felt dysregulated during the holidays. I would tell myself,
“Just do some deep breathing and get through this Thanksgiving dinner.”

And sure—deep breathing helped me look normal and not yell at someone at the table about politics.

But then I started aiming higher. I thought, “What if you want more than “getting through dinner” without yelling?
What if you want to feel present? To have an actual conversation with your sister instead of nodding along to whatever your brother-in-law said (what was it again?) while handing your kid endless snacks?”

I heard these desires from the moms I coach as well. I realized that moms deserve better, and we need tools that do more than avoid a meltdown — but help us feel emotionally present during holiday chaos.

One Important Cause of Holiday Mom Burnout (That Not Enough of Us Talk About)

So many of us believe that if we pack the kids’ bag, laid out the outfits, brought the perfect toys, and prepped all the snacks…
then we’d have a great holiday.

But I realized that we need more than logistical prep, because:

The late-night spiral before a holiday trip isn’t “stress.”
It’s the weight of unspoken expectations.

The expectations that swirl through moms’ heads and that no one says out loud:

  • “My sister-in-law will judge me if my kid has a tantrum.”

  • “Will people think I’ve let myself go when they see the bags under my eyes?”

  • “Will my kids look like the sloppy ones in the family photo? Or will they look too nice and people will think I’m too type-A?”

  • “Will I get judged for caring too much about the food… or not enough?”

These thoughts shape our behavior and emotional state.

They’re what’s going on underneath your yelling or your one-word answers and polite, tight smile at the Chanukah party.

And thankfully, you don’t need a multi-year therapy process to address them.

Why A 15-Minute Reflection Is Your Secret Weapon

During the holidays, moms need an anti-burnout tool that’s fast, more targeted, and more doable with a kid climbing on their back.

A short, structured reflection helps you:

  • Name what actually matters to you

  • Release the expectations that aren’t yours

  • Mentally prepare for the realities of travel + family dynamics (and the re-entry into regular life after the trip!)

  • Respond instead of react

  • Show up as a person, not a project manager

I’ve been using this tool before every trip (and honestly, even before I leave the house for an outing). The guide includes 15 short questions, but even answering one in my head as I run out the door helps me show up differently.

The results?
 I have meaningful conversations at holiday gatherings instead of running a to-do list through my head the whole time.
Huzzah.

“Wait, You Want Me to Just Ask Myself Questions?”

As a coach who asks people questions for a living, I hear this a lot. And maybe you’re thinking it right now.

Here’s the thing. I don’t want you to ask yourself just any questions:

Asking yourself questions is easy.
Asking yourself the right questions is hard.

Some questions—like “What qualities does my mom have that set me off? Let me count the ways”—will send you straight into a pre-holiday spiral.
Fun for January.
Not great for Thanksgiving morning.

Other questions help you feel grounded, confident, and emotionally prepared.

Those are the hand-picked questions in the Mom’s Holiday Anti-Burnout Guide.
 Yes, it’s behind a (latte-cost) $7 paywall.
And yes, the value is in the precision.

What Moms Are Experiencing After Using the Guide

In my coaching practice, I’ve seen this tool help moms:

  • Remove that pit in their stomach before a trip

  • Stop crowd-sourcing every trip decision in their group chat (or in all-day texts to their husband)

  • Feel confident in their choices

  • Stop yelling at their kids

  • Actually enjoy being around extended family

  • Have a holiday where they feel like a person – who makes jokes, gossips, and plays games – not an exhausted organizer

It’s simple. It’s fast. And it works.

Try It for Yourself

When you receive the guide, you can write your answers directly in an editable Google Sheet or print them out if that’s your ministry.

👉 Buy the Mom’s Holiday Anti-Burnout Guide for $7
 and give yourself 15 minutes to feel like a human again.

Let this be a holiday where you get to be present—not a “mom zombie” running on fumes.

Cheers,
May

May Flam