Do you ever feel like your life is missing something but you just don't know what? (I promise, this is not the start of an infomercial.) Technically, everything is fine. You have a great job, a comfy apartment, supportive friends. But something feels "off." How are you supposed to figure out what's wrong?
It may feel strange to complain since everything is, as we've said, technically fine. From experience, though, that feeling is not going to go away if you don't tend to it. I remember a few years ago when I had a fun advertising job in Tel Aviv, when I went to a lot of parties and enjoyed beautiful nights on the beach, and I still felt horrible. It was excruciating to take myself away from that "great" situation and dig in.
But I had to do it. And you can too.
The first step is to fully describe a recent situation in which you felt incredibly "weird," "off," or sad. Maybe you hated having people over to your house the other day. Maybe you felt uncomfortable when they touched all your things. Maybe you felt embarrassed that they saw your dying plant.
(Maybe "you" is "me" in this case. Hehehe.)
The second step is to ask yourself: "In this situation, what do I need that I'm not getting?" "What am I yearning for that isn't being fulfilled?"
Make sure the answer is about your emotional needs. Look for words from this list. (Note, the answer is not "I need everyone to leave my house and never come over" or "I need to live in a mansion.") For the situation above, maybe you need order to feel comfortable in your home. Perhaps you need self-esteem about yourself as a homemaker.
Write as many "needs words" as you can. Ask yourself "What's important about me not fulfilling this need?" "What would be possible for me if I did fulfill this need?" "Does this need conflict with any other important need in my life?"
Voila! Now you know what's going on, and knowing is half the battle.
PS see my follow-up blogpost on digging deeper into what you need here, and my Facebook videos with a more detailed how-to, including a Q&A, here and here.
To keep updated, I recommend liking my page on Facebook. I am livestreaming and writing about the 4 steps toward confidence when you're feeling off throughout May and early June. <3