 I secretly love reading the reddit group r/relationships for people’s relationship drama.
The other day, I read a story about a middle-aged guy who feels like he didn’t accomplish anything in life and is bummed about it. For some reason, this lead him to think that he should leave his wife and/or have an affair. This story made me really sad. I hear from so many people who fear that they are not making a difference, and that their life’s work “has amounted to nothing.” I used to feel that way myself. I hope that most of those people don’t think an affair is a solution to their problems! :P I wondered what if, instead of fixating on an affair, this guy acknowledged his desire to make a difference in the world? To have a meaningful life? What would happen then? I do think there is a lot of fear and worry about acknowledging our desire for meaning in our lives. Would love to hear your thoughts: 💥 Do you acknowledge your own desire for meaning and accomplishment? 💥 What thoughts and feelings come up when you acknowledge what you want to accomplish during your lifetime? All thoughts welcome.
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 I used to give my power away all the time. As a new employee, I had a senior member of my team constantly take hours of my time every day for pointless "meetings," leaving me no time to actually do my job.
I was exhausted and frustrated, yet when I talked about my frustrations to my coach, I said "it's fine that my team member hijacks my time -- this is what she's used to. But I'll just tell her that it doesn't work *for me.*" I said "it's fine" maybe 100 times. :P My coach asked me, "when you say 'it's fine,' how are you giving away your power?" He was right. Even though I was getting ready to confront my team member, I was still minimizing my power and shrinking away by excusing her actions. My coach helped me become way sassier to my team member than I was planning to, and I successfully got her off my back with no repercussions for my job. Woooot. Let me know if you want to hear what I ended up saying to her. Mwahaha. ***** So I ask again, how are you giving away your power at work? And what are you going to do about it?  Did you know there are a million ways to build a fulfilling, rewarding work life?
There is no “one right way” to do it, and it really depends on how you operate. Example: For years, I racked my brain about why I didn’t enjoy my work in any way. I worked in advertising, and I felt so lazy compared to my colleagues, who could work late nights without getting bored or frustrated. I felt exhausted working 9 am – 6 pm every day. After my hour-plus commute every day, I couldn’t function! Hearing about my colleagues going to concerts after work (or even cooking themselves dinner after work) made me feel like they were heroes. I was passed out on the couch watching Law & Order every night. These days, I accept that I simply can’t work a lot of hours every day. That I don’t function “like that.” That I need my down time in order to be productive. And I’ve built my work life around this fact. (And if you think "no one WANTS to operate like that, but life is tough, so just keep working" you're wrong. Some people actually love working for hours and hours and hours.) There is so much advice out there about what you “need to do” to create a rewarding career. This can make it hard to stand in your power and remember that you can succeed in your way, based on your personality and preferences. Today, I wanted to take a stand for accepting who we are at our core and building a productive work life based on that. Shablam.  My mom is someone who does everything by herself. She runs a nursery out of her home, and raised 4 kids (my siblings and I) in the same home. She cleans the entire house herself and makes food for her family and the kids in her nursery.
Growing up with my mom, I felt so guilty for not having the “Energizer Bunny” energy to work and cook and clean all day. In recent years, I learned that since I live in *society*, I can have other people do tasks for me so I can focus on my work. I realized that I’m not built like my mom and use my energy differently. And that there’s no moral superiority to doing everything yourself if it makes you miserable. Are you a DIY-er or do you outsource tasks that make you miserable? If you are miserable and still doing things yourself, why? |
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